Wanita Coy

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"Upside Over"
ISBN# 1-4241-5478-2
 
 
 
 

Family Life Begins

 

            Whether planned or a surprise, somewhere along the way sex ultimately becomes a child, and family life begins, ready or not.  Grab hold of your sanity and your sense of humor, it’s going to be a bumpy ride, and you are going to need all the resources you can find to make it through the next lets say 25 years or so.  For those of you foolish enough to think that your responsibility ends when the child turns 18, you are in for a big surprise.  It sounds promising enough, but you’ll be in for a major reality check.

 

            To our surprise, sex is no longer spontaneous and fun.  It has to planned and scheduled somewhere, between crying babies, dirty diapers, hungry babies, ear infections, measles, chicken pox, bad dreams, flu, colic, mumps, broken bones, scraped knees, black eyes and bicycle wrecks, just the tip of the ice berg for your information.

 

            For men the other surprise is that after a baby is born, he has somehow lost his wife.  You know that playful person he married has been transformed . . . . . into someone like his mother.  This in his eyes is the ultimate betrayal, you’re just like the mother he married you to get away from.  Does responsibility ring a bell?  Your parents warned you that life wasn’t all fun and games, but did you listen?  Well you should of, because you are about to find out that they didn’t have the heart to really warn you what parenthood really means, it’s their revenge for what you put them through.  They now get to stand back and smile at your discomfort. 

 

  What men or should I say husbands fail to realize is that we the wives are dealing with the shock of loosing our lives, our figures, our sanity our emotions and our reality as we knew it also, we too are adjusting to the new rules or least trying to figure out exactly what the rules are.  Just yesterday we remember being a happy go lucky teenager, weren’t we?  These new rules that we both are adjusting to, we find that we have little or no control over.  We didn’t make these rules; this little screaming bundle of joy is in control.  Neither of us can quite figure out exactly where we lost control, but we are both aware of the fact that we’ve lost control of the situation. 

The Menace : Sneak Peek!                       

            Eric was always into things, changing them or hiding them.  When Grandpa Bernie would bring him home some kind of goodie, he would only eat part of it, then he would go and hide the rest for another day.  One day Grandpa brought him home a big Hershey Chocolate bar with almonds.  Eric ate his portion, and then proceeded to look for a place to stash the rest.  This time he chose Grandpa’s boot.  We lived in Northern California, where we get real winter with freezing temperatures and snow.  Grandpa’s routine in the winter was to place his boots on a the heating duct, that way when he got up in the morning he could step into warm boots before he left for work.  I think you are starting to formulate a picture.  When he got up, he went to where his toasty boots were waiting for him, slipped his foot into the left one, reached for the right one slipped his foot into it and hit a warm gooey slippery mess of melted chocolate and almonds.  This was not how he planned for his morning to start.  He pulled out his foot and his sock was covered with the chocolate mess, as was the inside of his right boot.

            This incident happened long before the movie “ Dennis the Menace” was released, but I knew before they showed what happened, what was going to happen thanks to my son.  All I could do was laugh, so for those of you disbelievers out there, children do these kinds of things, and it’s true!  Eric was in the bathroom, his favorite time of day, bath time, he was about five at the time.  To Eric bath time was more like adventure time, and there was never enough time to complete all the adventures, after all there were ships to be sunk, giant fish to be caught and many more exciting things to do, and bath time wasn’t completed until the last adventure was acted out.  The bathroom also held lots of nooks and crannies to explore.  He loved Scope mouthwash, after all Grandpa used it, and Eric loved anything that Grandpa liked, if it was good enough for Grandpa it was good enough for Eric.  Grandpa was Eric’s hero.  In his glee, he spilled the contents of a new bottle of Scope down the sink, now he knew that this could result in some kind of punishment, so his little mind went to work.  You see Grandpa’s bath time was right after Eric’s and he knew Grandpa’s ritual by heart, and the mouthwash was part of it.  Eric searched until he found a little used bottle of Mennen aftershave, he poured the contents into the scope bottle with what scope was left, added some water to it and called it good.

The color was right, and it still smelled like mint.  He placed it back on the shelf where Grandpa kept it.  Toweled up his flood from the bathroom floor and skipped off to his room. 

            Grandpa finished his cup of coffee and went to take his turn in the bathroom, you can guess what happened, but seeing and hearing it first hand makes all the difference in the world.  He opened the mouthwash, took a big swig, and started to swoosh it around his mouth; he spit that mixture out of his mouth so fast, all over the mirror, sink and floor.  He couldn’t get it out quick enough.  Eric probably would have been dead on the spot, but he was in bed asleep, and Grandma stepped in to rescue her only Grandson, she blocked the doorway and he couldn’t get past her, she was curled up in a ball, and laughing uncontrollably, tears streaming down her face.  Its tough on Grandpa’s to be your Grandson’s favorite.