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NEW POEMS 7/5/06
The Shadow Within
There is a shadow in each of us
That makes us victims of our own desires
“If I do what he wants, maybe he’ll like me”
“If I pretend to like it, maybe he’ll think I’m cool”
“If I go along with them, maybe they’ll include me”
But, there is no safety in this world
When relying on others for love
I must learn to be responsible for myself
For what I want
For what I believe in
Forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past
Which frees me to create a new present and future.
Delightful things to watch up close
Squirrels burying acorns
Blue jay couple building a nest
Babies laughing
Spiders weaving webs
An infant finding his feet
Mama bird warming her eggs
Things I never want to see again
Buildings collapsing under the weight of air planes
Water fowl fouled by oil
Oil derricks purposely set afire
Mama wolf crying, searching for babies taken by conservationists
NEW POEMS 6/13/06:
Terrifying clarity
I am trapped and alone
With no hope for escape
I feel buried alive
Can no one come to my rescue?
Did I put myself here?
Non existence seems preferable.
With terrifying clarity I realize
Death is the sweet oasis of oblivion
No sound
No pain
No tears
No pretending
Frozen crystalline pines
On rare fluid mountains
White windswept canyon
Majestic hawk suspended
Then carried to balance on granite
Glowing rays of gold
Spin deep sleep
And morrow’s serene light
Weaves silky shadows
Banishing even the darkest chilling
The ebb and flow
Of the Gulf of Mexico
Brings peaceful thoughts
Mainstream
Trying to stay mainstream, holding the demons at bay
I wrap a bubble of illusory smiles around me
And hold my head just above the water
Sometimes I sink and need a straw through which to breathe
and sometimes, I just hold my breath
I hold my breath for longer than a lifetime
I hold my breath hoping the water will go away
I hold my breath till the lights swim before my eyes
I hold my breath
I hold my breath
I hold my breath
Sometimes, the water subsides
and sometimes, the water boils
it churns and swarms with seething monsters…
…electric eels and octopi wrap tentacles
around my legs
and my arms
and my neck
catching the strands of my hair
entangling, and caressing
pulling me under
I hold my breath
Mazes
I get lost in mazes
that keep me from what I want to do and be.
Memories, discontent, fear and more
make up the crazy twists and turns,
shaggy hedges, and trick mirrors.
I bump into myself at every turn
then twist my ankle on roots that grab at me
I stepped into the maze without realizing what it was
I fell through a trap door that looked like life
I have been here forever
I can’t remember my life before this
I can’t imagine life after this
At times I wander aimlessly,
not caring if I ever find my way out.
Other times I frantically dart
from place to place,
desperately seeking an exit.
I shoot off a flare -
It is lost in the ceiling of vines
I am alone.
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