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'How to Select a Compatible Mate'.
ISBN - 1-4137-3445-6
Featuring 24 of the most amusing, wackiest profiles of the sexes, capturing first-hand views into their unusual and diverse personalities.
Here's an 'inside peak' at one of the many character profiles featured inside Ron's hilarious new book:
mama’s boy
vital statistics: Age: 26 to 57, Height: 5’7” to 6’4”, Weight: Excess baby fat.
occupation: You may find him working as a toy store clerk, a machine operator
or a part-time employee at a hardware store which is owned by his parents.
favorite foods: He’ll have you feasting with him on his favorites such as baby
cabbages, Milky Ways, peanut brittle and alphabet soup. And if you eat more than
your share, he'll wine.
favorite drinks: His idea of a romantic evening is sitting in front of a cozy
fireplace sipping on Nestle Chocolate NesQuik. Also, several good slugs
of prune juice, for you and him before sex, according to his philosophy,
would help loosen the bowels thoroughly and ease any anxiety progression
in regards to a decent sexual performance. But first, he’ll have to call mom
for tips on the best positions!
favorite music: The Flintstones’ opening theme song and ‘The Three
Stooges’ merry melodies will be on his ‘Top 10”chart. He’ll probably have
nerve enough to ask, “Hey, pumpkin poo, could you turn that up. That’s the
best part.”
FAVORITE MOVIES/TV SHOWS: This childish joker will expect you to
accompany him in viewing old video reruns of 'Bozo Circus'. 'Disney'
Classic are also featured on his fun-filled evening plans, which includes
'MTV'
FAVORITE SPORTS/HOBBIES: Sand castle building, competitive dog & cat
grooming and cleaning rusty wagon wheels keeps him pretty much occupied. As
far as physical fitness is concerned; his legs receive plenty of exercise from
jumping up and down when he doesn’t get his way.
TYPE OF CAR: He’ll try to impress you when he picks you up in his pint-
sized Yugo, which will display a customized Donald & Daffy duck interior.
He’ll glow with pride and tell you how it took every cent in his piggy bank.
last book: “Bed wetting Made Easy” by Dr. Phil A. Bladder.
TURN ON'S: Tootsie Roll Pops with the bubble gum center, a well oiled
skateboard and a woman who enjoys 24 hour cartoon marathons.
TURN OFF'S: Bossy women who’s into competitive sports, any toy store
going out of business and feminist groups.
SECRET FANTASY: To hold firm in his possession, the largest collection
of ‘Harry Potter Magic and mystery’ novels.
ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Capricorn
PERSONALITY: Probably still camping out at home, this clown is half
way through a mind alteration process. Having strong family ties, he’s
very sensitive to the suggestions and wishes of mom. He’ll always com-
pare you to mom and your cooking to hers.
IDEAL WOMAN: To be a mirror image of mom.
WHERE TO MEET: You can find this type usually at any Toys-R-Us, your
neighborhood supermarket, the corner candy store or the video arcade.
GOAL: To meet and marry a woman, just like good ol’ mom.
RATING 3.9….Your relationship with this man could go either way. But the
the long-term lecture of constantly comparing you to his mother, could be
bad for your mental health. This in turn could lead to drastic actions. You
know which actions I’m referring to? Those actions that you know will
eventually come. Such as you going to the penitentiary and him to the
graveyard.
or
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