Jack Lynn Alexandar Biography |
I was born on May 25, 1963 (the date on the book is a missprint) in a small town in Middle Tennessee called Sparta. In fact, Sparta is just a few miles either way from the exact center of the state. So, yes, I've heard Country music. A nice place to live, overall. Never could warm up to the city. I need to be able to see a natural horizon. Sparta is nestled in a valley. From most anywhere, a loud sound (even the human voice) echoes. It's especially good when listening to church chimes. There used to be chimes but the tower was torn down years ago. Hearing them is one of the things I like about living where I reside now in Cookeville. I came into this world to a violent, alcoholic, self-absorbed father and a seamtress mother in pretty much the normal fashion (no demon dogs from Hell were involved). I was the 11th of 12 children. Wisely, my parents stopped soon thereafter. I'm not sure what it means but I've come to realize that all the places where I've lived have been either near train tracks or where they used to be. In fact, where I grew up had tracks close enough to see the train pass beyond the gaps between the houses. The train doesn't go there anymore. After a time, they tore up the tracks altogether. I knew I wanted to be a writer in grade school when a teacher gave us a writing assignment. That's when the proverbial bug bit me. I can't recall which year that was but I'd bet money that it was the fourth grade. I spent my life, on and off, toward that goal. Much to the chagrin of those who wished me to get a real job. Plus, I needed time to have life experiences and form opinions. I graduated high school in 1981 just in time for culture to turn to crap. And it's been going steadily downhill ever since. I worked various jobs during my life but never felt it was anything more than biding my time until someone with the intellect, vision and chutzpah took a chance on me. Finally found that publisher. God help us all! I'm single. Never found that special someone. The closest I get to someone has them seeing me more as a close relative, like a sister or brother, than a love interest. Well, that's their story and they're sticking to it. My musical interests are dated. I haven't heard much music I thought was good since the purging of Disco from the bowels of Hell. For my own part, I'm a musician. I picked up the acoustic guitar from my father. I'm, also, learning piano. Jack Lynn Alexandar is my pen name. I'd rather keep my real name separate to keep the stalkers, paparazzi and other loonies to a minimum. I'm hoping that it will help give any fans I accumulate as easy access as if I were any other person but keep that physical division. That is, so far as anyone knows. Whether online or in the real world, I could be any person you meet and we can hang out like normal people. As a known celebrity, there are changes in lifestyle that would have to be made for one's own protection. I like to read though I haven't had much time lately. I credit my reading with my near perfect writing grammar. It sure wasn't there in high school. I ain't even gonna try fixin' my normal talkin' grammar. A little nod to my Southern roots. Not to mention the mixed blessing of it making people think I'm stupid. We make that work for us when Yankee tourists show up. You didn't think we actually articulated in that manner, did you? HEIGHT: 6' 2.5" (My mother's side of the family is Scandinavian. "Gargantuan Swedes" might be an apt description.) HAIR: Medium brown. EYES: Two. Not sure how to describe the color. I've always said they were green but the color isn't like other green eyes I've seen. WEIGHT: Reasonable. SEX: Not near enough. BODY HAIR: Okay, I admit it. After a point, I stopped shaving. It's gotten in the way of forming relationships but that's their hangup. I refuse to "conform to the norm". HOBBIES: Music and reading. VICES: I smoke, drink, eat meat and love it! If you live differently, more power to you. Don't try to change me and I won't try to change you. Is that another vice? FAVORITE COLOR: Blue. FAVORITE FOODS: Spicy. The way to my heart is through the use of selected herbs and spices. FAVORITE MOVIE QUOTE: "Well, you're dead now so just SHUT UP!" -Death in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life FAVORITE LITERARAY QUOTE: The first one that comes to mind is from William Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream,"Shall we in their fond pagaent see? Lord, what fools these mortals be." -Puck (AKA Robin Goodfellow) COMEDIC INFLUENCES: Just throw out some names. I think my first words were, "The Smothers Brothers". A short list would be: Don Rickles, Foster "The Lovable Lush" Brooks, Mel Brooks, Richard Pryor, Gallagher, Howie Mandell, Sid Caesar, Carl Reiner, The Three Stooges, Buster "The Great Stone Face" Keaton, The Marx Brothers, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Cheech And Chong, Robin Williams, Lily Tomlin, Jackie Mason*, Bill Cosby, Lewis Black and many others that a search engine might find on this page. Them I don't find an influence aren't to be taken as not funny. Dennis Miller might become an influence now that he's grown his nads back. *There's a line near the beginning of the story of Moses in "NQBS Vol. I" I have never heard in my normal voice. It's always been his. COMEDIC INSPIRATIONS: Oh, Good Lord! That would be an even longer list. Anytime there is (but not limited to) arrogance, haughtiness, selfishness, greed, sloth, hypocrisy, self-righteousness and/or stupidity then I'll be there pen in hand. If these traits were oil, there wouldn't ever be an energy crisis. |