When Eyes Closed

Written: April 4, 2006

 

Beaten and broken-

Dismantled and disheveled-

Little girl once skittish and hidden-

Released a secret said to be so forbidden.

They tried to destroy her memories-

Claiming they could not be!

 

Long ago healed wounds still cut deep-

The worst come when eyes close to sleep.

Dreams resulting only in screams-

Trapped in the past is how it seems.

As memories come of him wanting to play-

Then suddenly she’ll awake to a new day.

 

Trinkets of terror-

She is now the bearer.

Memories once her saving grace-

Everything they wanted to erase-

They’ve now become what she wishes to forget-

For when eyes close, they are the biggest threat.

 

Eyes open, eyes close-

Their darkness only she knows.

Look forward, look back-

Huddled in closets, hiding from the attack.

Blackened and bruised-

Body beaten and used.

Abuse taken because thought due-

Too much hell to be put through.

 

When eyes closed-

Others pretended that no bruises showed.

No teachers bothered to step in nor look-

When eyes closed; no actions would be took.

Child grew to woman and remained punching bag-

As if her battered body was not a warning flag.

But when eyes close-no one else sees what she sees-

Merely a broken spirit longing to be free.

To others, outward she appears fine-

Of this shattered woman, there is no sign.

But that is expected when eyes close-

Her trinkets of terror, she knows-

Are here to stay.

At least their terrors go away-

When eyes close…

 

©2006 Candice M. Martin

 

 

 

Review from Womensselfesteem.com: The full review may be found at:Womensselfesteem.com About the Book: "Petals of Life"
SHE WAS SIX AND AFRAID OF THE DARK,
DADDYS BELT WASNT THE ONLY THING THAT LEFT A MARK.
LATE AT NIGHT HE WOULD CREEP INTO HER ROOM-
PRETENDING SHE WAS HIS YOUNG BRIDE AND HE WERE HER GROOM.
This is a segment from the poem, “No Longer Afraid” this is just one example of the poetry that you will read in, “Petals Of Life: A Survivors Writing’s”. “Petals Of Life: A Survivors Writing’s” is very well written with passion and truth, deep, dark passions from a woman that survived serious abusive ordeals through out her life. Her truths are spoken through her poetry, they are truths that to some may be very hard to consume or understand. The feelings that you as the reader will experience will be sorrow, tears and pure hatred of the abusers. The poetry you will read will be sad, lonely, shocking, humiliating, and even dark in some places. These are words of necessity, a necessity to be free of an ugly past that can haunt the victim for ever. This is a book written with all of the pain and humility that the author, Candice M. Martin was forced to live through. Through this book, Candice begins her inner healing road to a freer and more peaceful inner self. I will end my review with a sad segment from another very well written poem by Candice M. Martin.
NO MATTER WHAT OTHERS THINK:
Everyone thinks she fell and broke her arm-
Noone thinks mommy or daddy could do any harm.
I may be little but the truth I know-
They hit Sissy blow by blow!
I’m nine and have a story to tell,
Too many years of a living Hell.
I watched Mommy get mad because she caught Daddy in the act-
Lying naked with Sissy on her back.
Recommendation: Womensselfesteem.com recommends the book "Petals of Life", to anyone that needs to feel that they are not alone in the world of abuse. It is not a book written to make you laugh or smile. It is a book that was written to wake people up to the fact that there is abuse going on everywhere, every minute. My heart goes out to any innocent victim of abuse. I also pray that all abusers will someday have to pay! Candice, thank you for your courage and strength that you have shown in your efforts to deal with your haunted past and share them with myself, womensselfesteem.com and its readers. More information can be found at the author's website at Reflections In My Tears

Anyone who is serious about poetry,as a writer or reader should have this book. While the technical student of poetry may feel some of the poems are of a simple rhythmatic style, certainly this thought is quickly forgotten once we realize the subject matter. Candice M. Martin gives her all in this vulnerable collection, which portrays what the skill of writing poetry is really all about. This book displays a rare combination of beauty and power. The beauty that lies in the telling of raw and blunt truths. The power to change lives, to shed light on a seldom viewed, but common experience, the experience of victimhood and of recovery. This book is for those who are students of poetry and for those concerned about the subject of abuse. This book gives a voice to women who have been denied a hearing by our culture. Ms. Martin shows uncommon courage in facing that pain, and in allowing the reader to begin to share some understanding of her experience. I recommend this book to all survivors-men and women-and to those who work with survivors of abuse, and to all who share their lives in any way. This collection left me breathless. Thank you Candice...for your strength, and your voice. Tonya Busbee Author of Moons, Dreams and Majical Things…

Abe March
This book contains a great variety of poems – something for everyone. The Author has a gift for exposing life’s problems in a personal way. She gives one the feeling that she has “been there.” She also touches on the bright side of life with an expression of tenderness in her poetic views of love and life. A definite buy – a keep sake. I give this a 5 Star Rating. 

Jul 11, 2006 Five Stars – A Brilliant Collection! A Real Collection!

When you first look at “Petals Of Life : A Survivor’s Writings” by : Candice M. Martin you walk into a world unknown. Or at least I did. You come out of that world in total shock. Emotional and vamped, this collection of poetry rips at your emotional scenes and makes your eyes bleed of tears. Powerful and emotional to places so high and unthinkable, this book is a book that I will read over and over and over…John Thompson, Author: Black Petal Rose

Simply stated: Powerful., June 21, 2006
When you think of petals, you think of beauty, innocence, genteel in nature, something that is precious. Between the lines of hurt and pain, I find beauty, courage, strength, hope, and inspiration. It echoes, "I'm still here!" and "I have a story to tell." Candice is a "bootstrapper" who reaches deep into your soul to stir, to impact. She shows that pain, suffering, abuse, and heartaches can't stop a heart that has fortitude and is welded by love. Some of the poems that resonates for me are, "Acceptance", "Only", "Diamonds and Hearts", "Love's Rejoice", "Gentle Rain No More", "Heart Whispers", "Moments of Happiness", and "The Measurement of Strength". I'm sure you will find, as I have, that this book leaves soul-healing imprints. It is a must buy, must read. Simply stated: Powerful. ~ Pier Tyler, author of "Abstract" and "I Have Arrived"

Donna Sheehy, Author Romancing on the Bay of Fundy, April 19, 2006,
Petals of Life: A Survivor's Writings by Candice M. Martin, is a beautifully presented collection of poetry in rhythmic form covering many important facets of life. Through her poetry we not only see the effects of abuse, fear, and insecurity, we are also inspired by the love, trust, risk, faith, and hope. Often there is one special poem that stands out, but many in her collection touched me deep. 'Heart Whispers', is definitely full of desire and joy of love seen in her poem, Love’s Rejoice,” It is through her abuse, and pain we understand through her love, faith and triumphs we find hope. She graciously shares her life's journey providing hope for those who strive to survive, and brings awareness to others. This is an important read which I highly recommend.

April 9, 2006, At long last
Author Candice Martin reveals the pain and suffering that lay hidden in suppression for many years. The depiction of such horror and despicable actions are brought forth in the poet's descriptive writings. Carefully hidden away for many years,pain finds its refuge penned on the pages of the author's recounting. The phrases this reader takes away from this work are as follows Acceptance is a gentle gift as in Black Bird. Pretend he is not there..Darkness Comes Forth... The Living Hell, Thunder Lightening, Rain, Inner Secret...all hidden pain. Other secrets bore by the abused are New Yet Old- Child tossed aboutin foster care. No one heard or saw the abuse because of their fear to admit it. I could go on. Finally, I received hope through these works Into God's Arms, Windows and Doors, and The Measurement of Strength. Candice...to me you are not Invisible. The read flowed with impact..Thank you... Robert Meacham...author Mind's Diary.

A Fabulous Book by an Awesome Lady, January 25, 2006
Very Seldom do I read poetry books but Petals of Life by author Candice M. Martin was an exception. As I read the synopsis on the back of her book it touched my heart and I ordered the book. I am definitely glad that I did. This book is an encouragement to those who have suffered abuse of any kind. Her poetry touched my heart as I could feel the pain of what she experienced. It takes a very special person to put into words their feelings, pains and life's experience to help others and Candice did an excellent job in accomplishing that task. I highly recommend Petals of Life to anyone as it will comfort you and strength you and renew your faith in mankind. Tom Ward, author The Enemy Within and Outpost of Hell or Portals to Heaven

Petals of Life: A Survivor’s Writings (4/17/2006) I recently completed reading Petals of Life: A Survivor’s Writings, by Candice M. Martin. This author bravely and boldly opens the doors of her heart and exposes the tormenting memories of the physical and sexual abuse she experienced as a youth. Petals of Life: A Survivor’s Writings is a masterful and thought provoking “must read” for all. It offers a riveting reflection for parents, adolescents and even pre-teens that are mature enough to understand the delicate issues covered in this extraordinary piece of literary work. As you are gently escorted through the corridors of her heart, you sense the innocence of the faceless victim. Faceless because the victim can be anyone’s child (boy or girl), yours or mine. One cannot help but feel the anguish of a trust betrayed by a deeply loved family member; a family member who chooses to become a devouring monster for the sake of their own sexual appetite. Escape momentarily and find yourself walking through a new door of unbearable sickness. Candice manages to cover a wide spectrum of thematic elements very relevant in today's society such as child abuse, abortion, incurable sickness and even the quest for love, to name a few. In the midst of all life’s disasters, Candice demonstrates an amazing courage; the same courage which allows her to write in the first place. As she reaches out to her audience her words penetrate your soul and permeate a spirit of determination to fight. Petals of Life: A Survivor’s Writings promotes an enduring strength to overcome the odds in the midst of the pain and to always remember to love; especially love one's self. Do not pass this one up. For this book reflects the urgency to fight on with every breath we breath. Not just for us, but for the innocent little ones lying in waiting before they, too, become victims. Jamaris Bragg, Author A Distinct Difference

Hi Candice: I am the realtor who bought your book at your speaking engagement and booth for the "Girls Night Out" event, to sponsor our local abused womens shelter. I want to tell you again how much I admire your courage and what a pleasure it was to meet you. I have read your poetry and look forward to your next publication. Good luck! ~Debbie~